Fire-eater

Long ago, the Earth was just a child wrapped in her royal cobalt cloak. Some call it the ocean today, and the light of her Father the Sun reflected from her waters in radiant refractions throughout the entire Universe. In the vastness of space there was no other like her and as her blue pierced the darkness, one by one, the Stars of the night began to shine brighter in symbiotic celebration of her endless beauty. On the surface of her deep waters she captured each point of brilliance and she knew by their light that she was loved. This pleased her father, who shone brighter than any other on her, but while she knew she was loved, it was not enough. Something was missing.

As the years passed, she began to grow lonely. Her seas grew darker and more brooding and soon, even the light of her Father seemed to be losing its brilliance in her reflection. She would gaze at all the stars in the heavens and wonder which, if any, would ever come closer to her. They had always remained so far out of reach. Seeing this, Sun grew worried for his daughter.

“Darling, why have you grown so dark and sad? Do you not see that entire Universe rejoices in your being?”

“Papa,” she replied, “I see that the Stars shine so brightly for me. And I see that you shine brighter than them all. But father, why do they not come close to me? I am so lonely. Don’t they see the sorrow I keep deep down in my dark waters, or is it only the beauty they love, that they see on my surface?”

“My Daughter, my beautiful child, it makes my heart hurt to know that you are sad. Of course I see it in your waters and I hear it in your cry, but you must know that you are unique in every way. While you always move near me, we Stars cannot move at all. It was my destiny to create you so that we all may celebrate you. In this way the Universe is made perfect, and you are a part of that.”

“How can such sorrow be perfect? Surely this kind of sadness cannot be part of a plan,” and as she fell silent, her waters grew darker, and more tempestuous yet.

Unknown to Earth, or even to the Father Sun himself, there was one who had been silently moving toward her ever since the very moment he saw the first glimmer of her bright blue surface. He was as unique and as special as she in every way, but they were not the same. Where Earth reflected the brilliance of the Sun and the Stars, he did not shine at all. In fact, because he did not shine nor glimmer, the Universe, the Sun and the Stars, were completely unaware that he existed at all. And were it not for the pain of his loneliness, he may have very well forgotten he existed too.

In the time before Earth and her birth, he lived very much alone at the farthest edge of the Universe. Never did he know the comfort of another and the light of Stars never warmed his surface. He simply lived and moved about in the darkest places where no light could reach. It was this way for many thousands and thousands of years until she was born, and his gaze fixed upon her. He did not see the Stars as they began to shine even brighter, and he did not see the Sun burning proud for his daughter. The only thing he saw was her cerulean sapphire glimmer cutting through the fathomless, down-reaching darkness that was his home. Though he had not realized then, in one instant, just one glance that became a fixed gaze, she had changed all that he had ever known.

At once he began to race through the Universe toward her, drawn by a force unknown, compelled by her light that had touched him. He had no idea that the Universe was so deep, and so wide. Many years passed and he felt as if he had come no closer to her. And while he began to come close to many other beautiful stars, he would not stop for them. For there was nothing which could compare to the excitement he felt looking at her, even while she was still so very distant. Still determined, he silently pushed on until the day finally came that he found her, and for the first time in those many years of traveling the Universe and seeing so many of its wonders, he finally stopped and was still.

She was not a star at all. She was something else, something different and much like himself. He became so nervous in her presence that he remained perfectly still in her shadow, still unnoticed. At once he became aware of himself. He worried about the scars he bore from his years of searching. His surface was no longer smooth, but marked with craters and canyons which cut into him so deeply. Fear gripped him as he gazed upon her. He began to feel ugly in the shadow of her beauty and so he began to turn away. And as he did, something simply magnificent happened. She called out to him.

“Who is there?” she asked. “Please… are you there? I see your silhouette against the light of the Stars. Why do you hide from me?”

“I…I . .you are so beautiful,” he whispered to her. “I dare not reveal myself, something so ugly, to something as beautiful as you. I am not a Star, nor am I cloaked by a beautiful sea and the Universe does not seem to recognize me. Tell me, am I unknown to you, too?”

“Do not be afraid. You are not a Star, and you’re not of my Father. Who are you and where have you come from that you have freedom to move and draw near to me?”

“I do not know who I am. I have come from the deepest and darkest edge of the Universe where light does not reach. Where no light has ever reached until yours did. And I saw it… . I saw you.”

“My father has never mentioned anything such as you. How is it, that He who shines brighter than all others did not know of you?”

“I do not know. I only saw you.”

“And why have you come all this way? To gaze upon my beauty like the Stars above who shine for me?”

“No. I have not come to gaze, but rather to be near you. But I see now that you are indeed the most beautiful in all of the Universe and in your light I see that I am scarred, beaten, and worn. I will return to my darkness so that you don’t have to look at me. I am sorry.”

“All my life I have prayed for another, my dear traveler. All my life I have been so lonely. The Stars shine for me and my Father keeps me warm, but they do not come near to me. They cannot, so it seems. But you have drawn near to me. You have been scarred, beaten and worn down only to be close to me. Please, will you stay with me for a while?”

And so he agreed to stay, though he remained always in her shadow. Time passed and the two grew closer and closer with each moment. Her sea became brighter with movement and loneliness left them both. The Sun saw this one day and he was pleased.

“Daughter! Oh my! I see you are now more beautiful than ever! Tell me the joy of your heart.”

“Father! The Universe heard my prayers and sent to me someone who can draw near to me and comfort me when I am lonely!”

Sun was surprised and nearly worried, if not for the excitement and joy he saw in his beautiful daughter. “Who is this you speak of? Pray tell, who in the Universe can move so freely?”

The stranger replied nervously from behind Earth, “Hello. It’s me. It is me who came from the edge of the Universe where no light shines. It is me who traveled many many years to draw near to your daughter, the one whose brilliant light touched me first.”

When Sun heard the stranger’s voice he was humbled. There was nothing that Sun did not see in the Universe, for he had always shined brighter than any other thing. Until that moment, he believed there was nothing unrevealed or unknown to him. “How can this be? Come out from behind my daughter. Let me look upon you. Let me see what manner of being you are.”

“I will do as you ask, Creator Sun. But please, know that I am not a pleasant thing to look upon. I am pale from all the years of darkness and scarred from the many trials I have encountered on my journey here.” And so the stranger did as he was asked. For the first time in all of his life he was revealed and seen for what he truly was. He was pale, beaten, scarred and small. In fact, he saw himself in this light and was ashamed, but in that same moment the Earth was gazing upon him too.

“You are beautiful,” she cried out. “Please, open your eyes and look upon my surface! Look at your reflection! See how magnificent you truly are! You are not a Star, but still you shine on my waters so splendidly!”

And it was true. As he wiped his tears and looked down, he saw for the first time his own reflection and it was not hideous at all. In fact, all that he had thought was ugly and hideous had all but vanished in the brightest light of the Sun and then, made even more perfect in the reflections of her bluest churning blues.

“I will call you Moon,” said Sun. “And, for the love of my daughter, I will shine upon you the rest of your days. It is plain to see that you, Moon, make her happier than any other thing in the Universe.”

Moon then declared, “It was Love that lifted me out of the blackest places of the Universe. It was Love that allowed me to take on many years of hardship as I sought you out. And please, may it be Love that holds us together for the remainder of our days.”

So it came to be that Moon and Earth never parted. When Father Sun slumbered, Moon shone down brighter than any Star in the night sky. And every night Earth would gaze up at him and he would calm her waters, so when Moon also shone down on her he would always see and rejoice that it was her Love that made him majestic. It was Earth’s Love that made Moon radiate beauty. And it was the firey light of Creator Sun, and all of their Love for each other that made the Universe complete.

written(and dreamt) by Wm. Daniel Showalter after falling asleep under the full moons of September, October and November, 2009

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say…

Toward the end of his life, the Buddha wordlessly gathered his disciples at a quiet pond, heavily shaded by a banyan grove for instruction. The Buddha’s followers let their eyes adjust, and as they had done so many times before, sat in a small circle around him, and patiently waited for the teaching.

But the Bodhisattva had no words left for them. Eyes closed, he slowly, silently, dipped his sun-spotted hand into the algae, and enticed a lotus flower from the muck. He raised it in his open palm and opening his eyes, he held it silently before them, its roots dripping mud and murk.

The adherents were uncomfortable and confused. The Buddha deliberately displayed the lotus to each of them. In turn, the followers did their best to guess upon the meaning of the perceived parable of the floret: what it embodied, and how it worked into the body of the Buddha’s imparted instruction.

When at last the Buddha came to his follower Mahakasyapa, the pupil understood. Smiling, he began to laugh. The Buddha placed the lotus into Mahakasyapa’s open palm and began to speak.

“What can be said I have said to you,” smiled the Buddha, “and what cannot ever be said, I have given to Mahakashyapa, who shall in turn give it to you.”

The Flower Sermon, retold by Wm. Daniel Showalter

Who am I?

I am a vagabond soul who has walked the earth with you in times we can’t remember.

I am the desert, feet dusty, hair blown back, cheeks burnt and ruddy, hands scarred, calloused, but my fingertips are still soft, and my heart pounds like a hammer on an anvil.

I am a seeker of love and lust, and I have built this haven for love and lust to conjoin, to twist in each other’s desperate embrace, and cry out in their aching to be more for one another.

I am a secret admirer, ever bold, but still so shy, still content enough to hide, peek around the corner, and watch you walk by, rendering me breathless and my pulse quickening.

I am Ulysses incarnate, and having heard your Siren song, I’ve changed course, venturing your way and daring the jagged shoals.

Who are you?

You are the first thing and the last thing I think of over the course of every day.

You are the brightest star in the constellation of my life.

You are the temptation, the Delilah, the thing I fear, my destruction wrapped in my desire.

You are feline and sleek, feminine but hard, a woman in bangles and embraces.

You are the subtle glance, the gentle touch, and the soft whisper.

Who are we?

We are lost and wandering.

We are Philemon and Baucis, whom Zeus has blessed by turning us into an oak and a linden, our trunks together, our branches like arms and fingers, intertwined.

We are what we thought we would be as children, when every dream was sterling, before life proved us suckers: we are beautiful.

We are laughing, always laughing around fires, drums and clay cups of wine.

I am crying out at the top of my lungs.

wds